Our new baby boy is six weeks old today and I already feel like he has changed so much. He is starting to stay awake for longer periods of time during the day and sometimes I catch him making little smiles. Before Roman was born we kept wondering everything about him like what he'd look like and what his personality would be, but now I can see how he was always meant to be in our family as the perfect addition. It's amazing how fast the time can go by because the day he was born seems like forever ago. But yet I still can't believe we are a family of five and these three babies are all mine. I'm not going to lie and say that this first month with three kids was easy because it has definitely been a handful, but there isn't anything else I'd rather be doing than being their mom - even when I'm still in my pjs at noon and I have spit up on me. The first couple of weeks I felt like we were surviving off of adrenaline and the pure bliss of bringing a newborn baby into our home. But once week three hit and we were completely on our own without any help from family and trying to juggle three kids, it got real. I feel like I've never had to let go of things more than I have right now, like having the house all clean every night before going to bed or getting any sleep or cooking great dinners every night or finding time to exercise or getting alone time with my husband or catching up on emails and my mile long to-do list. I've tried to live in the moment more and soak up every minute with this quickly growing little babe and my other two babies that also need my attention and it's hard at times. These past couple of weeks where I've been completely on my own figuring out how to do things by myself with all three kids, has had it's ups and downs. One day I'm feeling great and like I've got it all figured out and then the next day it's like I'm struggling to survive. But the truth is there are hard things about every stage of life and the real challenge is to just find joy in the journey. I know we'll look back on this time and miss having our little ones in our arms. I'll miss how sweet Capri is at trying to rock the baby if he's crying or the thoughtful way Liam comes up to me out of the blue and says you look so pretty mom. Three kids is definitely a handful and we are outnumbered as parents now, so when I'm busy taking care of the baby, Adam is busy taking care of two other kids that each have their own needs. Not to mention how hard it is to start your day without getting a full nights sleep over and over again. But everyday I look at that little face and kiss that head and think to myself that I am the luckiest to get to be a mother where I have learned the most amazing kind of love. It's incredible to watch them grow and to see how much these siblings love each other. I am so grateful that they have on another.